Hello! I have started to blog again and i am posting at http://lamamanboheme.blogspot.ca/
For info regarding doula services or holistic birth education, please contact me!
Amanda Barker 250-376-8331
Friday, October 12, 2012
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Mindful Birth
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
blog love!
One of my favorite photo blogs is from France, titled, 'Le Dans La'. The daily posts are beautiful and it keeps with my romantic notion of what it would be like to live there....
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Birth story of Ezra Lewis
My littlest man Ezra was born on February 1st, 2011..almost 6 weeks ago.
This last pregnancy was going to be a breeze...this was my fourth baby after all, i had home birthed, i was a HypnoBirthing practitioner, was in a traditional midwifery program, and i had been working as a doula for the past few years...so i knew pregnancy and birth and i trusted the process. I remember feeling sorry for women who thought of birth as a painful event that one had to "get through" in order to meet their babies. I was above all that fearful-of-birth business ....at least until i hit the eighth month and realized that I had to do it again!
The fear crept in and stayed awhile... I remember at night, waking up to the feeling like i needed to escape my body, but i couldn't move. And sometimes it felt like i wasn't able to breathe.
The more fear i felt, the more positive (and some not so positive) birth stories i read, and the more abdominal breathing i did. I practiced my HypnoBirthing daily and listened to positive birth affirmation CDs while driving my minivan filled with MY children. Thats right, the three previous children i had already birthed quite fearlessly. Why now? I think the fear came from: 1) the thought of being out of control, and not being able to surrender, 2) I've given birth before, so i know its intensity, and 3), attending births during my pregnancy gave me a whole new perspective on the variations of how birth can go.
I had had three empowering births, and I had gotten all those lovely endorphins and oxytocin to help me feel euphoric and totally blissed out and bonded to my babies. I remembered those parts so well, and when we were planning on having a fourth, all i thought of was that highly addictive euphoria at the end!
I liken it to a druggie (hello birth junkies!) who will do anything to get that feeling from the next hit. We forget the "sensations" a little while after birth since we are totally high on LOVE!
So i continued on my journey embracing the birthing process for what it was, and practiced surrendering. I did it over and over and over again...since its easy to stop surrendering. I learned how to focus on the now, while being thankful to God for the opportunity to take part in another birth, which He made me able to do. My biofeedback sessions were amazing and gave me some incredible tools for life, not just birth. I also had chiropractic adjustments once a week, massage therapy and acupuncture. I was mostly ready.
The last day of January came and i felt prepared emotionally and physically to birth...i had faith, courage and TOOLS! At around 6:30 pm that Monday evening as i made dinner for my family, i had started to get some mild contractions ( i won't use the HypnoBirthing speak here), and i knew this was it. I got excited at the thought of meeting my baby and i was SO DONE with being so huge. The contractions came and went, not in a particular pattern for a few hours and then started to get painful around 9 ish. I called my midwife and then wrote a little letter to my baby...one of my rituals i do when i go into labour. When we tucked the kids into bed we told them they would be meeting their baby in the morning, and they found it hard to believe! (My six year old told his dad that he doubted it). My other births had gotten faster and faster, and with my last birth being about an hour and a half i thought this baby would be born in January.
We got the birthing pool up and ready, i stayed out of it as long as i could and laboured using the "lift and tuck" for my back labour, and got my husband to massage...er, punch...my lower back, which is our standard labour "system" we've done every time. One of my boys called down from his bedroom,"Mom, are you having birth?"
It was at the point when i had to use "vocal toning" (ie: yelling the 'ahhh' sound) during my contractions that i thought i was near and got into the birth pool. My midwife came and got everything set up, ...and my contractions slowed to 5-6 minutes apart. I was comfy in my pool with my Ray LaMontagne and Jack Johnson playing, and i thought that the baby would soon be out... heck, what was i worried about..I could do this!
When the second midwife arrived i asked her to check me to see how dilated i was ( i was dead against this before)...I was ONLY 3! Labour had just begun.
My husband made coffee for the midwives, our children slept and i held onto the side of the tub for dear life. They were strong and coming closer together. I took my Rescue Remedy...don't know why, i wasn't afraid, i was in freaking pain! My labour went from the dreaded back labour that i had always had, to the feeling of my hips being pulled apart like wish bones after a Thanksgiving dinner. I couldn't breathe into the pain or through it, i only felt like yelling (i mean vocal toning!).
My midwife thought that maybe i should get out to speed things up...like climb stairs or Mount Everest..sure, no prob. I got out and headed to the bathroom, frantically searching for walls to brace myself against...yelling my head off the whole time. I felt like i was going to go crazy if i had to do this much longer...and realized i needed a plan. So i yelled at my husband to stop looking at me, and holed myself up in my cave. I sat on that toilet, put my feet on the stool, and welcomed every feeling, every sensation, and just "observed" them, i didn't judge those cute little contractions as pain..not one bit. For about an hour and a half i was zen. I was SMILING. I thought i got the freakin' golden ticket...everything clicked and i "got" what surrendering through pain was, i would be the best hypnobirther ever.
Then I needed a new plan.
When I had gotten cold enough and my bottom too numb to feel, I went back to the pool. My little birth spa. HA. The sensations went rip roaring through every cell south of my belly button. I felt that I needed to bear down with every contraction. I asked to get checked again. 5 cm. I wished she had lied..nope, I wished I hadn't asked. The problem was this; my little man had part of the bag of waters in front of his head, so his head wasn't putting very much pressure on the cervix. Maybe thats why so much pressure in my hips?
Plan..plan..needed a plan! My husband got in the pool and punched my lower back harder than my midwife had ever seen someone want to be punched(counter pressure at its finest!) while I held onto the sides and bore down....yes, I pushed this early. This is how I got through the labyrinth of my labour.
Ray and Jack continued to sing, the midwives did paperwork and had a little nap, and it felt very comforting to be doing this at home. Comforting in a bittersweet sort of way.
At 4:30 am, I got out of the pool so my midwife could check to see if my cervix was swelling from all that bearing down I was doing (it wasn't) and I wanted to know if my self checks were accurate (they weren't). I was at 5 and a half cm...I'm thinking the "and a half" was just to make me believe my body had done SOMETHING in the last hour and a half. My midwife asked if I wanted her to break the water bag, and I said a big "YES!" The baby was down low enough so there was no risk of chord prolapse, and I had laboured through the night. I wanted to meet my baby.
As soon as she broke the bag he descended quickly. So quickly that they couldn't find his heartbeat for a couple of contractions. I went from side lying on my left side, to the right side to standing until they finally found those blessed heart tones. So relieved!
I was on autopilot. I got down on my knees and held onto the side of the pool..I never did get back in. I pushed for a few more contractions and when I felt the feeling of a huge rock coming out my bum, I knew it was almost over! Oh blessed be. Ezra slid out into his father's arms and I heard his loud cry belt out from his little body (little-ish, 9'3 isn't so small!) My baby was here! I remember saying, "Am I dreaming? Is this for real?"
Birth is such a surreal, ecstatic (out of body) event. Birth has taught me so much about myself, and about how pain is an important part of the birth process just as it is in life. Fear loses its power when we learn how to TRUST.
After Ezra was born I laid down and held him for the first time, drinking it all in, so excited to have these first moments with him. I stared into his sweet little eyes, and realized how much we already knew each other.
My three year old son woke up first, surprised that there really was a baby in my belly. Then the other two woke up and ran down the stairs to meet their new baby. Immediate love and acceptance for their new brother.
I am thankful.
This last pregnancy was going to be a breeze...this was my fourth baby after all, i had home birthed, i was a HypnoBirthing practitioner, was in a traditional midwifery program, and i had been working as a doula for the past few years...so i knew pregnancy and birth and i trusted the process. I remember feeling sorry for women who thought of birth as a painful event that one had to "get through" in order to meet their babies. I was above all that fearful-of-birth business ....at least until i hit the eighth month and realized that I had to do it again!
The fear crept in and stayed awhile... I remember at night, waking up to the feeling like i needed to escape my body, but i couldn't move. And sometimes it felt like i wasn't able to breathe.
The more fear i felt, the more positive (and some not so positive) birth stories i read, and the more abdominal breathing i did. I practiced my HypnoBirthing daily and listened to positive birth affirmation CDs while driving my minivan filled with MY children. Thats right, the three previous children i had already birthed quite fearlessly. Why now? I think the fear came from: 1) the thought of being out of control, and not being able to surrender, 2) I've given birth before, so i know its intensity, and 3), attending births during my pregnancy gave me a whole new perspective on the variations of how birth can go.
I had had three empowering births, and I had gotten all those lovely endorphins and oxytocin to help me feel euphoric and totally blissed out and bonded to my babies. I remembered those parts so well, and when we were planning on having a fourth, all i thought of was that highly addictive euphoria at the end!
I liken it to a druggie (hello birth junkies!) who will do anything to get that feeling from the next hit. We forget the "sensations" a little while after birth since we are totally high on LOVE!
So i continued on my journey embracing the birthing process for what it was, and practiced surrendering. I did it over and over and over again...since its easy to stop surrendering. I learned how to focus on the now, while being thankful to God for the opportunity to take part in another birth, which He made me able to do. My biofeedback sessions were amazing and gave me some incredible tools for life, not just birth. I also had chiropractic adjustments once a week, massage therapy and acupuncture. I was mostly ready.
The last day of January came and i felt prepared emotionally and physically to birth...i had faith, courage and TOOLS! At around 6:30 pm that Monday evening as i made dinner for my family, i had started to get some mild contractions ( i won't use the HypnoBirthing speak here), and i knew this was it. I got excited at the thought of meeting my baby and i was SO DONE with being so huge. The contractions came and went, not in a particular pattern for a few hours and then started to get painful around 9 ish. I called my midwife and then wrote a little letter to my baby...one of my rituals i do when i go into labour. When we tucked the kids into bed we told them they would be meeting their baby in the morning, and they found it hard to believe! (My six year old told his dad that he doubted it). My other births had gotten faster and faster, and with my last birth being about an hour and a half i thought this baby would be born in January.
We got the birthing pool up and ready, i stayed out of it as long as i could and laboured using the "lift and tuck" for my back labour, and got my husband to massage...er, punch...my lower back, which is our standard labour "system" we've done every time. One of my boys called down from his bedroom,"Mom, are you having birth?"
It was at the point when i had to use "vocal toning" (ie: yelling the 'ahhh' sound) during my contractions that i thought i was near and got into the birth pool. My midwife came and got everything set up, ...and my contractions slowed to 5-6 minutes apart. I was comfy in my pool with my Ray LaMontagne and Jack Johnson playing, and i thought that the baby would soon be out... heck, what was i worried about..I could do this!
When the second midwife arrived i asked her to check me to see how dilated i was ( i was dead against this before)...I was ONLY 3! Labour had just begun.
My husband made coffee for the midwives, our children slept and i held onto the side of the tub for dear life. They were strong and coming closer together. I took my Rescue Remedy...don't know why, i wasn't afraid, i was in freaking pain! My labour went from the dreaded back labour that i had always had, to the feeling of my hips being pulled apart like wish bones after a Thanksgiving dinner. I couldn't breathe into the pain or through it, i only felt like yelling (i mean vocal toning!).
My midwife thought that maybe i should get out to speed things up...like climb stairs or Mount Everest..sure, no prob. I got out and headed to the bathroom, frantically searching for walls to brace myself against...yelling my head off the whole time. I felt like i was going to go crazy if i had to do this much longer...and realized i needed a plan. So i yelled at my husband to stop looking at me, and holed myself up in my cave. I sat on that toilet, put my feet on the stool, and welcomed every feeling, every sensation, and just "observed" them, i didn't judge those cute little contractions as pain..not one bit. For about an hour and a half i was zen. I was SMILING. I thought i got the freakin' golden ticket...everything clicked and i "got" what surrendering through pain was, i would be the best hypnobirther ever.
Then I needed a new plan.
When I had gotten cold enough and my bottom too numb to feel, I went back to the pool. My little birth spa. HA. The sensations went rip roaring through every cell south of my belly button. I felt that I needed to bear down with every contraction. I asked to get checked again. 5 cm. I wished she had lied..nope, I wished I hadn't asked. The problem was this; my little man had part of the bag of waters in front of his head, so his head wasn't putting very much pressure on the cervix. Maybe thats why so much pressure in my hips?
Plan..plan..needed a plan! My husband got in the pool and punched my lower back harder than my midwife had ever seen someone want to be punched(counter pressure at its finest!) while I held onto the sides and bore down....yes, I pushed this early. This is how I got through the labyrinth of my labour.
Ray and Jack continued to sing, the midwives did paperwork and had a little nap, and it felt very comforting to be doing this at home. Comforting in a bittersweet sort of way.
At 4:30 am, I got out of the pool so my midwife could check to see if my cervix was swelling from all that bearing down I was doing (it wasn't) and I wanted to know if my self checks were accurate (they weren't). I was at 5 and a half cm...I'm thinking the "and a half" was just to make me believe my body had done SOMETHING in the last hour and a half. My midwife asked if I wanted her to break the water bag, and I said a big "YES!" The baby was down low enough so there was no risk of chord prolapse, and I had laboured through the night. I wanted to meet my baby.
As soon as she broke the bag he descended quickly. So quickly that they couldn't find his heartbeat for a couple of contractions. I went from side lying on my left side, to the right side to standing until they finally found those blessed heart tones. So relieved!
I was on autopilot. I got down on my knees and held onto the side of the pool..I never did get back in. I pushed for a few more contractions and when I felt the feeling of a huge rock coming out my bum, I knew it was almost over! Oh blessed be. Ezra slid out into his father's arms and I heard his loud cry belt out from his little body (little-ish, 9'3 isn't so small!) My baby was here! I remember saying, "Am I dreaming? Is this for real?"
Birth is such a surreal, ecstatic (out of body) event. Birth has taught me so much about myself, and about how pain is an important part of the birth process just as it is in life. Fear loses its power when we learn how to TRUST.
After Ezra was born I laid down and held him for the first time, drinking it all in, so excited to have these first moments with him. I stared into his sweet little eyes, and realized how much we already knew each other.
My three year old son woke up first, surprised that there really was a baby in my belly. Then the other two woke up and ran down the stairs to meet their new baby. Immediate love and acceptance for their new brother.
I am thankful.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
birth story
Oh i cried when i read this...so beautiful. Also, it may have something to do with the fact that i am 7 weeks from my own guess date and i am so excited to meet my little one :)
Read the story HERE
Read the story HERE
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wee Textile
I love Lena Corwin's textiles and overall design style. She has a design blog and now, as she is almost due with her baby, has started another called Wee Textile.
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
my new boots!
I love my new purchase! Being VERY pregnant, there is not much that i can wear at this point and still feel/look good in...my tall boots are getting too difficult to pull on (well, it just bending over is gymnastics for me!)...i saw these faux leather boots..and coupled with some prego jeggings...i'm good for my last 8 weeks!!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Birth Doula Services
I am a mother of three, wife, Herbalist, Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator. I have been attending births since 2006 and have a passion for helping pregnant mothers find their inner strength and courage for birth and future mothering!
My doula services include:
- Prenatal herbal & nutritional consultation
- Three organic belly butters (Ovio Organico)
- Three visits (after the initial meeting) for discussing your birth plan, answering your questions, and childbirth education.
- Being on call 24 hours/day for two weeks prior to your "guess date", and two weeks after.
- Staying up to 2 hours after the birth (or untill breastfeeding is established).
- One postnatal visit to discuss any questions and concerns.
My fee is $500.00 including all of the above, $200 to be paid at the second meeting as a retainer fee, and $300.00 to be paid within two weeks before your "guess date".
Other services offered:
- Pregnancy photo session: 25+ photos to document this special time in your life, your choice of location and partners welcome! $100.00
- Nutritional Analysis with customised prenatal food and supplement plan. Suitable for vegetarian and vegan mothers, as well as for anyone wanting to nuture themselves and their growing babes with whole, real foods and proper supplementation. $50.00
The first Doula meeting is free, to schedule an appointment:
(250)376-8331
(250)320-3980
Blessings,
Amanda Barker
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
An amazing woman...
Please read this post over at Marvelous Kiddo...its about Jeannine Parvati Baker ; a mother and midwife who changed many peoples perspective in her lifetime, and afterwards...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Allergies and Pregnancy
Many women suffer from seasonal allergies, and dealing with them when you're pregnant is not fun! As a Herbalist and Doula (and fellow hay fever sufferer), I get asked all the time if i know of any natural methods. I spoke with a Naturopathic Doctor and Midwife, and they told me about some remedies that do work well AND that you can take during pregnancy:
1. WATER! Drink plenty...minimum 8 glasses per day (flushes out the allergens from your system).
2. Homeopathics are safe during pregnancy and lactation. Pollinosan Tabs by A.Vogel help regulate your immune system. I use this myself and this literally worked overnight.
3. Echinacea is safe during pregnancy and is also great for regulating the immune system; making it strong enough to fight invaders, yet smart enough to know what to attack and what not to.
4. Vitamin C is an effective natural antihistamine, and you can take up to 2000mg/day. Try to spread 500mg doses throughout the day.
5. A healthy diet of anti-inflammatory foods! Follow The Gentle Birth Method nutritional guidelines for a healthy, glowing pregnancy and better birth.
1. WATER! Drink plenty...minimum 8 glasses per day (flushes out the allergens from your system).
2. Homeopathics are safe during pregnancy and lactation. Pollinosan Tabs by A.Vogel help regulate your immune system. I use this myself and this literally worked overnight.
3. Echinacea is safe during pregnancy and is also great for regulating the immune system; making it strong enough to fight invaders, yet smart enough to know what to attack and what not to.
4. Vitamin C is an effective natural antihistamine, and you can take up to 2000mg/day. Try to spread 500mg doses throughout the day.
5. A healthy diet of anti-inflammatory foods! Follow The Gentle Birth Method nutritional guidelines for a healthy, glowing pregnancy and better birth.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Gloria Lemay's Anti-Bleed Tea
Recipe for Anti bleed tea
2 Tablespoons Shepherd Purse
1 Tablespoon Fennel
1 broken Cinnamon stick
Put all herbs in a big pot. Boil water separately and pour boiling water (at least 5 cups) over the herbs. Let steep. (You may have to re warm but do that with least heat possible. Leaf and seed herbs are not boiled).
Get your big mug ready before the baby is born.
Put 2 teaspoons maple syrup or honey in the cup with a spoon. Have bendy straw ready. Put tea strainer (small strainer with a handle) over the top of the cup. As soon as the baby is born one attendant runs to get a cup of the tea and the straw. Make sure it’s warm but not hot enough to burn mother’s mouth with a swallow. Give it to her and say “This tea will help your placenta come out smoothly, all in one piece.” Say this only once. Keep offering the tea liberally.
The mother’s body needs warmth inside and out after the birth and women seem to love the taste of this tea plus the hydration.
We use this tea for primips. With multips we use a crampbark/cinnamon tea for helping to reduce the afterpains. Barks and roots are boiled so there is a different method for preparation.
Multip Postpartum Tea
2 heaping Tablespoons Cramp Bark
1 broken 4 ” cinnamon stick
Cover with 6 cups water in a metal pot and boil slowly on the stove for about an hour. Remove from heat. Sweeten with maple syrup or honey as for the other tea.
This tea will warm the mother inside and the Cramp Bark is very effective for reducing the pain of the uterus contracting down (”after pains”).
teacup cozy made by KnitStorm
2 Tablespoons Shepherd Purse
1 Tablespoon Fennel
1 broken Cinnamon stick
Put all herbs in a big pot. Boil water separately and pour boiling water (at least 5 cups) over the herbs. Let steep. (You may have to re warm but do that with least heat possible. Leaf and seed herbs are not boiled).
Get your big mug ready before the baby is born.
Put 2 teaspoons maple syrup or honey in the cup with a spoon. Have bendy straw ready. Put tea strainer (small strainer with a handle) over the top of the cup. As soon as the baby is born one attendant runs to get a cup of the tea and the straw. Make sure it’s warm but not hot enough to burn mother’s mouth with a swallow. Give it to her and say “This tea will help your placenta come out smoothly, all in one piece.” Say this only once. Keep offering the tea liberally.
The mother’s body needs warmth inside and out after the birth and women seem to love the taste of this tea plus the hydration.
We use this tea for primips. With multips we use a crampbark/cinnamon tea for helping to reduce the afterpains. Barks and roots are boiled so there is a different method for preparation.
Multip Postpartum Tea
2 heaping Tablespoons Cramp Bark
1 broken 4 ” cinnamon stick
Cover with 6 cups water in a metal pot and boil slowly on the stove for about an hour. Remove from heat. Sweeten with maple syrup or honey as for the other tea.
This tea will warm the mother inside and the Cramp Bark is very effective for reducing the pain of the uterus contracting down (”after pains”).
Friday, June 11, 2010
BOOB
Maternity clothes can be so...typical. Boob maternity is an on-line shop out of Sweden that delivers original prego wear...even if its just to look at and be inspired by the interesting pieces. Its like Thyme maternity meets Forever 21.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Green and Prego!
Green Smoothies are wonderful for pregnant mothers (and lactating ones too!) They deliver food based vitamins and minerals in a easily digestible form. Check out Get Fit and Yummy for some great information and recipes!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Lift and Tuck for Back Labour!
I have had three back labours, and every time I get pregnant I hope to God that I will not have a posterior baby again...but I do without fail. I do all the tricks that I know of; get chiropractic adjustments, crawl around my house on all fours, and try to sit up straight against really hard chairs. But no..my babes always turn right side up after I am 10 cm dilated, and after i have endured the dreaded back labour. The pain of back labour is awful...even terrible, and it can prompt many women into having epidurals. The other day I found this site and its looks very promising...it gives me goosebumps to think that women who have posterior babies may have another option!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Don't Push!
Here is a great article by Laura Shanley about pushing, or NOT pushing.
And here is an interview with Laura on www.mothering.com.
And here is an interview with Laura on www.mothering.com.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Take a nap!
This is a great post from The Idler:
There’s a simple remedy for the exhausting hardships that life can throw at the idle parent. It’s not advertised on the television or in the papers, because it costs nothing and therefore no one makes money out of it. But indulging in it will without doubt improve your quality of life. I’m talking, of course, about that glorious care-charmer, the nap. The destruction of the nap has been a victory of Calvinist culture. Perhaps this is because the nap is so deeply pleasurable, and as we know, pleasure was frowned upon by the puritanical tendencies of the post-Medieval age. In our pell-mell Western economies, napping is seen as a waste of potentially productive time. Instead of taking 40 winks, we tend instead to power ourselves up with that ubiquitous, costly and dangerous stimulant, coffee. As the Protestant work ethic spreads its joyless gospel around the world, societies that used to nod off after lunch are dropping the habit. In Italy, for example, shops now stay open during the siesta hour to compete with the guy across the road. And in China, workers are giving up their afternoon doze, fearful that Western visitors will consider them lazy. Thankfully, idler-friendly countries remain, such as Mexico or Laos, where naps can be taken at any time of day without any sense of guilt. The nap is enjoyable for its own sake, particularly to sleep-starved parents. “I used to think booze and sex would bring me joy,” wrote P.J O’Rourke after becoming a father. “Now it’s a nap.”
A nap is useful, too. American research suggests that nappers are healthier. Napping reduces stress and lowers the risk of heart attacks and strokes. A study of pilots found that a 26-minute nap in the cockpit (while the co-pilot flies) increased alertness by 54 per cent. One report says that simply knowing that you are going to be able to nap later in the day reduces blood pressure. I know from experience that I am far more likely to be grumpy on days when I have not managed to nap. Sleep deprivation damages mood and, conversely, the nap is a great promoter of domestic harmony. The morning is improved by its anticipation, and the afternoon and evening are improved because you are not exhausted. There is also that immensely healing sense that you are being kind to yourself. For this reason, the idle parent should make napping an absolute priority. If you are at home with the children during the day, napping should be easy. The kids need a nap, too, so – while they sleep – resist the urge to get things done, unplug everything and go to sleep as well. At weekends, take turns with your partner to nap. One idle dad friend of mine offers to give his wife a break by taking the children to a matinee. Having installed them in the cinema, he creeps back to the car and dozes off. If you are stuck in the dark satanic mills of the modern workplace during the day, then more ingenuity may be required. On fine days, the park bench may afford a 20-minute kip in your lunch break. Deck chairs are very comfortable and are offered by many municipal parks. If it is raining, then creep into a church and find a quiet pew for some dozy contemplation. Or if you drive to work, then use the car for a bit of shut-eye. I have heard of dedicated nappers managing to take a snooze in public lavatories, or even at their desk. And if you are worried that your brain may not be able to switch off, then simply drink a pint of real ale or a glass of wine at lunchtime, and remember – no coffee! God gave us alcohol to help us relax: we were not made to toil for nine hours or more without respite.
There’s a simple remedy for the exhausting hardships that life can throw at the idle parent. It’s not advertised on the television or in the papers, because it costs nothing and therefore no one makes money out of it. But indulging in it will without doubt improve your quality of life. I’m talking, of course, about that glorious care-charmer, the nap. The destruction of the nap has been a victory of Calvinist culture. Perhaps this is because the nap is so deeply pleasurable, and as we know, pleasure was frowned upon by the puritanical tendencies of the post-Medieval age. In our pell-mell Western economies, napping is seen as a waste of potentially productive time. Instead of taking 40 winks, we tend instead to power ourselves up with that ubiquitous, costly and dangerous stimulant, coffee. As the Protestant work ethic spreads its joyless gospel around the world, societies that used to nod off after lunch are dropping the habit. In Italy, for example, shops now stay open during the siesta hour to compete with the guy across the road. And in China, workers are giving up their afternoon doze, fearful that Western visitors will consider them lazy. Thankfully, idler-friendly countries remain, such as Mexico or Laos, where naps can be taken at any time of day without any sense of guilt. The nap is enjoyable for its own sake, particularly to sleep-starved parents. “I used to think booze and sex would bring me joy,” wrote P.J O’Rourke after becoming a father. “Now it’s a nap.”
A nap is useful, too. American research suggests that nappers are healthier. Napping reduces stress and lowers the risk of heart attacks and strokes. A study of pilots found that a 26-minute nap in the cockpit (while the co-pilot flies) increased alertness by 54 per cent. One report says that simply knowing that you are going to be able to nap later in the day reduces blood pressure. I know from experience that I am far more likely to be grumpy on days when I have not managed to nap. Sleep deprivation damages mood and, conversely, the nap is a great promoter of domestic harmony. The morning is improved by its anticipation, and the afternoon and evening are improved because you are not exhausted. There is also that immensely healing sense that you are being kind to yourself. For this reason, the idle parent should make napping an absolute priority. If you are at home with the children during the day, napping should be easy. The kids need a nap, too, so – while they sleep – resist the urge to get things done, unplug everything and go to sleep as well. At weekends, take turns with your partner to nap. One idle dad friend of mine offers to give his wife a break by taking the children to a matinee. Having installed them in the cinema, he creeps back to the car and dozes off. If you are stuck in the dark satanic mills of the modern workplace during the day, then more ingenuity may be required. On fine days, the park bench may afford a 20-minute kip in your lunch break. Deck chairs are very comfortable and are offered by many municipal parks. If it is raining, then creep into a church and find a quiet pew for some dozy contemplation. Or if you drive to work, then use the car for a bit of shut-eye. I have heard of dedicated nappers managing to take a snooze in public lavatories, or even at their desk. And if you are worried that your brain may not be able to switch off, then simply drink a pint of real ale or a glass of wine at lunchtime, and remember – no coffee! God gave us alcohol to help us relax: we were not made to toil for nine hours or more without respite.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
PINK
I am going to be planning a baby shower for a friend very soon, and i found this on the NonChalantMom blog ..some great ideas for decor and food!!
Sunday, May 02, 2010
enfant terrible
I am planning on taking my daughter with me to France next year, and with all things French on my mind, i came across this on-line shop; Enfant Terrible. Please, check it out! (PS. It's Canadian!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
